20 Nov 2024

Independent psychologist, Ms Jacqueline Darlee-Obert has encouraged  men not to shy away from expressing their emotions. 

Ms Darlee-Obert, who was addressing men at an event to mark Movember, a month-long occasion centred on men celebrating issues of their health in November, urged men to defy cultural norms, societal expectations and family dynamics that often encouraged them to suppress their emotions and to “tough it out” in silence.

She said by ‘manning up’ and hiding emotions continued to lead men to emotional suppression, which over time contributed to significant emotional and mental turmoil.

The bottled-up emotions, she said fueled gender-based violence, suicide and other societal problems that were mostly perpetuated by men.She said the inability to communicate often resulted in men internalising negative emotions such as sadness, anger and frustration.

Ms Darlee-Obert said the emotional numbness that usually resulted from the repression of emotions was often followed by outbursts of anger that became hard to control, thereby causing some men to then commit murder or suicide.

She, therefore, encouraged men to open up more and communicate their feelings in healthy ways saying that would help them regulate their mood, manage stress better and reduce the risk of mental health issues like depression.

“By communicating their feelings, men are better equipped to process their emotions, work through difficult experiences and ultimately lead healthier emotional lives,” she said

Ms Darlee-Obert described effective communication as the bedrock of any successful relationship, be it friendship, romantic relationship or family dynamics. She emphasised that the ability to express feelings openly and honestly was essential for fostering trust, empathy and understanding.

She said when men opened up about their emotions, it helped understand their concerns and ultimately prevented possible misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.

Moreover, Ms Darlee-Obert said opening up helped men not to feel neglected or disconnected from the broader society as it enhanced deeper communication.

“It is very important to communicate feelings as that can create stronger, more connected relationships built on honesty and emotional vulnerability,” she said.

Further highlighting why it was necessary to open up, she said speaking about stressful or upsetting situations helped externalise it, making it feel more manageable and less overwhelming.

She further said it also opened up the possibility of receiving support and advice, which could ease anxiety and provide clearer perspective.As such, she advised men to express their emotions in healthy ways to enable them to develop better coping strategies for managing stress.

Ms Darlee-Obert, therefore challenged men to redefine the traditional norms such that it allowed them to express their vulnerability ton demonstrate  strength, emotional maturity and self-awareness.

She said in embracing the power of communication, they would be providing role models for younger generations of boys, teaching them that ‘it is okay to express emotions, ask for help and seek support when needed’. She said such shift in societal expectations could lead to a healthier and more emotional resilient men in the future. Ends