21 Oct 2024

In the heart of Serowe sprawls Kopano Counselling Centre that vouches to end heneious acts of crime associated with Gender-Based Violence  that often lead to passion killings which have become a concern in the country.

The facility  which opened its doors to the public 11 years ago in Gaborone, soldiered on through thick and thin to spread wings to Palapye and Serowe, purposely to reach out to Batswana after realising that people lacked emotional intelligence to thwart murder-suicide incidents.

The centre, the brainchild of Mr Kopano Olesitse, goes by the mantra ‘if you want to live a more fulfilling life, it’s never too late to change’.

The Chief Executive Officer of the centre, Mr Olesitse said in an interview recently that they employed mindset change initiative in their mission to bond families and or couples, as mindset change has a bearing in marriage, pointing out that character building needed the right mindset, citing decision-making to encounrge couples to engage each other than than do things single handedly.

Mr Olesitse is also of the view that therapy could thwart a looming divorce, adding such would help couples realise their mistakes and rectify them. He said the centre was birthed to fill the lack of information critical to sustain marriages and curb gender-based violence.

He spoke fondly of marriage or family, as the first institution God ordained before the church and the government. He said couples shoud value the ‘until death do us part vow indicating a lifelong commitment that could only be broken if one partner dies.

Mr Olesitse said marriage was the fountain from which children and family springs forth hence it must be accorded the respect it deserved.

“All couples experience conflict.For some, it’s battles about money while for others it’s infidelity or rather unfaithfulness or a pattern of constant arguments, lack of communication and exposure of hidden cracks in a relationship.” He said challenges were necessary for a marriage to grow, noting, no challenges no growth.

Mr Olesitse said therapy was not about finger pointing but about correcting couples and finding a common ground to move forward harmoniously.

He said the secret to a long-lasting marriage was understanding the concept of togetherness as a couple.

The family therapist opined that marriage counselling was incorporated into pre-marital counselling that focused on preparing couples mentally

“This type of counselling helps to make sure that spouses can have a strong and healthy relationship throughout their lives. Pre-marital counselling helps to improve a couple’s relationship before marriage,” he said.

He said couple therapy, known as marriage counselling, was a structured process involving various stages aimed at helping the couple navigate through their relationship issues effectively.

He said marriage counselling does not necessarily denote that couples were having problems but rather could be done to enhance marriage in general.

He said conflict resolution and reconciliation covered a wide range of issues to unite the couple when there were differences. He said good character was of the element of a successful marriage, and advised couples to invest time in character building, likely to start before marriage.

 Mr Olesitse said character could build or destroy marriage, adding that good character would make it more enjoyable, peaceful and colourful if the character was right.

He warned against abuse of alcohol and habit forming drugs, lack of literacy and financial mismanagement likely to affect what would have been a successful marriage.

He revealed that marriage has got stages and that the first five years of marriage is normally characterised by challenges as spouses would still be adapting to each other but beyond five years those challenges would eventually evaporate allowing marriage stability.

As for distance relationships, he said normally couples experience challenges especially the youth who are still new into marriage because of temptations. He said living together would accord newlyweds an opportunity to appreciate each other, learn to live together and create a platform for spouses to support and serve each other. He appealed to employers, public service and the private sector to facilitate married couples to live together to discourage divorce.

He shared that there were universal marriage principles on how to succeed in marriage despite spouses coming from different backgrounds and lifestyles.

Mr Olesitse said couples should heal from past traumas as such had potential to spoil a good marriage.

His centre offered  emotional counselling to deal with traumas before marriage as research showed that spouses with trauma gave their partners a hard time and abused them due to past hurt.

Teaching couples helpful habits  such as refraining from infidelity, and good communication was key.

He said anger was the main cause of passion killing as studies showed that offenders were mostly in a state of confusion when quizzed as to what transpired.

 He said as such anger management was critical. Mr Olesitse boasts a vast experience in the field of counselling having acquired his professional skills from Tshwane University of Technology in South Africa after reading for a National Diploma in counselling. He also possesses a Bachelor of Journalism from the same university. ENDS